Bem Vindo! Welcome! To the much-delayed debut of my blog, Healthy Mozambique.
After 6+ months on the ground in Mozambique
I hope you will enjoy my reports from the field as much as I will enjoy sending them.
By now, many of you know that I arrived in Mozambique Naamacha , I was placed here in Gaza Province
For now, here are some of the top 10 cultural differences I’ve noticed in my few months here in country. Take them for what they’re worth….I’d say that’s about 5 Metacais (“Mets”), the local currency, which runs about 27 Mets for One U.S. Dollar.
Here goes……
Driving. That would be on the left hand side, please. No speed limits, no stopping for pedestrians…hey, it’s like NASCAR, without rules. In the dark, you’d be wise to proceed at your own risk, as drinking while driving is a national pastime. Dim those headlights, deflate those tires, crack the windshield and you’re ready to roll, Mozambican style!
Language. Well, some folks speak English, but not many. There’s the old colonial language Portuguese - I’m getting the hang of it. Some try harder to master it than others. To wit, the Indian shopkeeper whose store I visited the other day welcomed me with a hearty “Buenos Dias!”…er, uh, wrong part of the Iberian peninsula , Senhor!
The most prevalent lingua is our local language, Changan. Every region of Mo has at least one local language, often two. It’s quite easy to ingratiate yourself with passers-by with only a few simple words of Changan. Which is about all I’m capable of, at present. Lixile: Good Morning!, Canimambo: Thanks! And Ripilile: Good Evening. So much for my Changan.
Lines. Forget ém. Don’t have ‘em. Sharp elbows are required. No gender differences recognized here, it’s every person for him or herself. In particular, children are not given preference. Brian Urlacher, where are you when I need you?
Cha. That’s literally “tea” , served at the ungodly hour of 10 a.m. A bit early for the Brits, but a nice custom, nonetheless. Unfortunately, as served in the office setting, it tends to disrupt what ever work is supposedly being done: “Sorry, that open heart surgery will just have to wait…”. Usually served with bread (“Pao”)..sorta better than what passes for bread in the states, but the French would be appalled.
Change Money. Thank God for ATMs. The alternative? Camping at the bank for half the day waiting for the completion of endless paperwork and red tape. Not for the faint of heart or short of time.There are also change agencies: less waiting, lousy exchange rates and they don’t take bills under $10 or printed before 2007!
Holidays! Plenty of ém. I count 8 since mid-August. And, on these days just about everything shuts down completely, save for a few restaurants. The celebrations themselves are pretty uniform: a trip to the local war memorial for some solemn words, supplemented with lots of guns and roses. Being a young nation (at peace only since 1992), Moz celebrates just about anything that was of some historical significance in the fight for independence. Kinda like if we were still celebrating as national holidays Paul Revere’s Ride, Washington Crossing the Delaware, or the signing of the Constitution…come to think of it, hey, why DON’T we get those days off from school and work?
Lunchtime. See Holidays above. All businesses shut down usually between Noon and 1:30 p.m.. This makes it a bit difficult to pick up that needed roll of toilet paper or bag of rice on the lunch hour. Oh yeah, ditto on Saturday after noon and all day Sunday: shopping verboten.
Chapa. The local bus transport. Indispensable, cheap and dangerous. Picture enclosed!. Formula: cram 15 passengers into a beat-up Japanese-model mini-van, add chickens and sacks of potatoes, mix and serve. Really, they are the only way to get around Moz and, though not safe, they cost a measly 20 cents per ride. Alternative? REAL buses, donated by the Chinese, guess they have enuf of them. These run infrequently, cost less but stop very few places. And, my favorite, “boleia”-ing, otherwise known as the good old American pastime of hitch-hiking…actually works well in Moz, though I don’t recommend it after dark.
White People. Like me. But, also let’s include Chinese and Indians. We are all “Mlunga” or “whites”. Actually, a pretty offensive term, but you have to role with it. “Who you callin’honky?”is probably a dangerous response, though useful in making me feel better for the moment.
Television. Omnipresent and rather useless for keeping up with what’s going on in the world. (Thank God for BBC radio!) A tip of the hat, though, to several Brazilian soap operas (“telenovelas”) that are great for watching to hear the Portuguese language, at least as spoken in Brazil by bad actors impersonating sexually-precocious teenagers.
Churches. Plenty of ém. Ya got your Catholics, ya got your evangelical Christians. And ya got yer smattering of mosques and Hindu temples. Mozambicans are a pretty religious lot, though, and spend a lot of Sunday getting ready for church, being in church and convening after church. God is in her heaven and all is right with the world, leastwise this corner of it.
Greetings. They’re long, polite, elaborate and absolutely required. And, IMHO, a bit pointless, but, hey, that’s just me. We’re talking about 180 degrees from our good ol’American non-greeting..a mumbled g’day, no eye contact, no touching, by all means, keep moving!. Here’s the standard sequence here in Moz, accompanied with a lot of hand shaking that I can’t begin to verbally replicate, you’’ll have to take my word for it.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Night: Bom dia / Boa Tarde / Boa Noite
How Goes it?: Como
Fine, and you? Tudo bem, e tu?
Fine. Ta Bom.
No matter what, things are always “Ta Bom”. As Oscar Wilde, or someone of his ilk once said, the definition of a boorish person is one who, when you ask him how he is doing, actually tells you. No boors here in Moz!
So, until next time…Ta Bom, y’all !
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